Hi everyone!! It has sure been a while!!
So I was at my new favorite place, Market Basket, on Father’s Day and saw these – and thought, holy shit – have i really been out of the game this long?? i usually know which LTO has been released, or is on the horizon of being released, but seeing these made me feel like a retired, washed up old Has-Been 👵🏻 . I just had to buy them and really recharge my lazy-ass tastebuds.
First things first. You can tell they are reaching. They have done all fruits before, but these fruits are the White Claw fruits. Mango? Lemon? Peach? They’re trying to be relevant to the White Claw generation, but I dont want to feel like i have bloodshot eyes by a pool and i’m trying to see if Uber Eats has McDonald’s in their radius 👀🍟
Peach Cobbler
It tastes like Peach Schnapps. It also looks like those ‘Handi Snacks’ of crackers with fluorescent cheese
This makes me feel like i’m at a wedding and the appetizers are catered by the Dollar Tree. The color and stylings look cheap, and the flavor is like a bottom shelf cocktail 💸🌳🍹
Tropical Mango
MANGO WHITE CLAW – THROUGH AND THROUGH
Seriously this tastes like i took a few swigs of a Mango White Claw and simultaneously chewed on some bread. I like Mango White Claws, but this is disgusting. It’s also very unattractive looking because it looks like they drizzled Cheez Wiz on it. Again with the cheese visuals?! How weird?! 🧀
Lemon Creme Pie
Wow!! this actually tastes amazing!!! if you don’t like lemon flavor then this isnt for you. But this tastes like a high quality lemon dessert. My only issue is the appearance again looks busted. It looks like Grey Poupon spicy mustard with the tiny brown dots on top of the yellow. Who designed these?!?
But that doesn’t even bother me that much because it tastes really good. I would honestly even toast these, whereas the Peach Blobbler and Tropical Mang-NO are a hard pass. (😂 did i mention i was rusty at this?)
So 1 out of 3 isn’t terrible. I went into this thinking i would like them all. But there ARE laws when you’re trying to eat pastry version White Claws.
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Thanks for reading!! 💁🏼♀️
Sugary * Satire 